Lizard's Rant

We all understand that eBay has to closely monitor it’s auctions, but lately it’s been getting out of hand. They recently pulled the infamous George Washington DNA Relic card for being in the “wrong category”, and have been on a crusade to rid auctions of any fake autographs. One problem - how can you tell that an autograph is fake by looking at an eBay listing? I barely trust the “experts” to tell me if it’s fake after examining it in person. Apparently if it hasn’t been authenticated by an “expert” that eBay is in bed with, they pull auctions at will. I’ve heard stories from quite a few collectors, but one last week really got under my skin.

Here’s a portion of our email exchange:

I have a question about authentication of autographed items. My question is what qualifies any one to be an authenticator of autographed items? Is there a college degree, an apprenticeship, or do you have to be part of an exclusive club? I’m not asking this question out of hostility toward authenticators or sports memorabilia people. I have just asked this to several different people and have yet to receive a reply. I thought I would just ask you guys for your take.

This question started with me when a posted a Michael Jordan Autographed Card on eBay for auction. I posted the card stating where and when it was signed, provided photos of Mr. Jordan signing the card, and stated this was and authentic autograph. eBay discontinued my listing saying the card was ruled a forgery by their authenticators viewing different listings and I could have the card authenticated professionally for a fee. To say the least I now feel eBay is a scam for simple reason that after discontinuing my auction they will not refund my insertion fees and gave me a bad note in my rating for listing a forged item. What makes their authenticator qualified to tell people and myself I have a forged item, when myself, my best friend, and my father stood and watched Michael Jordan sign the card?. We took photos of him while he signed it, and shook his hand and thanked him graciously for signing the card and taking the time to talk to us. I was only selling the card because I needed the money for medical bills for my daughter. And wonderful ebay dictates what I know the experiences in my life are. I just read your venting about the giants vs. the little guy in authentication and thought you may shed some light. I appreciate any information you may have on this matter. Thank you.

My response:

Wow, that story is horrible. That’s as bad as I’ve ever heard. To answer your question – nothing qualifies them to be authenticators. The companies were all founded by collectors, not hand writing experts that worked for the FBI. Take a look for yourself at their backgrounds http://www.psadna.com/experts.chtml and http://www.spenceloa.com/meetexperts.html for example (aside from James Spence himself, who has “successfully completed certification in Forensic Document Examination” whatever that means).

The reality of it is that NO ONE can absolutely 100% say a signature is real unless they witnessed it and have never lost sight of the item. Everyone signs differently at different times. I live in Albany, NY where the NY Giants have training camp and have gone over for autographs a handful of times. A few years back I watched Kurt Warner sign about 1,000 autographs one day and he signed every single one differently. The guy was sweaty after practice and was swarmed by a million people…half of the autos he signed while leaning over five people while fifty more yelled “Kurt sign mine next”. I guarantee if I sent in my Warner autos they’d come up fake, but that’s absurd.

For collectors, I always tell them to get their own autos in person or through the mail directly to the athlete (where you are pretty sure it’s real) so that they can be their own authenticator. The problems arise when one goes to sell an item like you did. Unfortunately you’ve been screwed over by the culture in the industry that’s taught collectors only to buy an authenticated auto, so if you want to get top dollar you’ll have to succumb and get an “expert” to tell you that your auto is real.

The guy WAS TRYING TO PAY MEDICAL BILLS FOR HIS DAUGHTER. Hope you’re happy eBay. Oh, and kudos for advising him to get the card professionally authenticated for a fee. Why don’t you let the person purchasing the item decide if it’s real or not? No one if forcing anyone to bid on the auction.